Picking Up The Pieces

My vacation is almost over and I haven't even gotten that much accomplished.

I did go to Florida for a wedding. A very fast, skin-of-our-teeth wedding, that came together just as the sun was setting. For me, it was a symbol of how determination can accomplish a lot of things, against all odds. And it wasn't out of character for the people getting hitched either-- they tend to operate like this all the time.

But other things haven't gone so well. Registering my car for New York has been a hassle-and-a-half. Stood in line for 2 hours at the DMV only to find out I was missing ONE piece of paper. That took me another 3 hours and 5 phone calls to finally get the right form sent, which will take another 5 business days. This means that my vacation will be over by the time I am ready to apply for my registration correctly.

That, and I won't be getting my driver's license for another 2-3 weeks.

That, and I found out that an error on my taxes will cost me $1400. That took about 4 phone calls to find out why.

And I haven't even started looking for work yet. I finally finished a resume today. I hope to put in at least 10 applications tomorrow. That will amount to a pretty busy day.

The only thing I really have to look forward to is camping with B this weekend. Perhaps I can get a few things off my mind.

There is the matter of the girl who cancelled on the date. Yup. It was a brush-off. I had been wracking my brain as to why she decided to cut things off with me. I guess I'm still taking things personally and I shouldn't. It might not have anything to do with me. But it still doesn't make me feel any better.

I decided to stop sulking because I realized that she wasn't exactly the best choice for me. And I also realized that I had been beating myself up for similar reasons in my personal life. I haven't always given myself the best chance possible. So why am I getting bent out of shape for nothing?

And it's because of this that I have a reason to start changing. I have to start playing fair when it comes to me. I think I might have better luck this way. It's not fair to beat yourself up, even a little bit, when you haven't given yourself a fair chance to try anything. And even then, it doesn't help to beat yourself up in the first place.

It's about picking up the pieces and not giving up. A thing that I always knew about but never really tried.

Until now.

It hasn't been all that bad, though. I guess life will continue throwing me curve-balls. I'll just have to learn to swing better, that's all.

A few things that went right this weekend:

1.) The fact that I showed up at all to my friend's wedding really made his day, despite all others not coming through.

2.) I met a cute waitress at a Ruby Tuesday's in Tampa. I didn't get her number on purpose, because I think it'll be better if I got it next time I'm down there. But I did pretty good flirting with her. She thought my name was "lovely." I'm such a dork.

3.) I did get my resume typed up pretty well. And fast. Not bad for not-having-to-need-one in almost 8 years.

So this week wasn't all bad. I just like to sulk sometimes.

But picking up the pieces isn't that bad, either.

From Bad To Worse To Better

So life, like a rollercoaster, is full of ups and downs. And, just like the ride, there's a lot of waiting to get on, and wanting to get off while you're on it.

For me, this weekend has been one up/down after another. And I couldn't wait to get off this ride. I don't think I've ever been happier to see Monday come.

Starting with my day on Friday, it was a bummer. The lunch "date" I spoke of was a job interview. For a job that was no longer being offered. I showed up anyway and talked with a nice friendly lady in HR. Seeing as I was on my lunch hour, I asked to reschedule for next week sometime when I would come in with a resume and fill out an application for some "possible" openings next year. So the only real good thing about Friday was the fact that I would be going on vacation for the next 10 days.

Saturday was no better. The girl whom I had a second date with did give me the brush-off. This was accomplished by dramatizing the fact that she was "moving" this weekend. I did the gentlemanly thing and offered to help her with her moving. I was pretty sure she was telling the truth. However, when I asked if we would be doing anything this weekend there was no direct answer from her, yet she pleaded with me to keep my schedule open Saturday. And when I sent her a message saying "hi" later that night she didn't answer (she usually replies right away, even when she's at work.) All this nonsense just to avoid saying that she didn't want to hang out with me.

I went to a party to get my mind off things. Everything was going fine until one of my friends decided to lash out at me for PG's birthday snafu a couple of months ago. Mind you, PG and I worked things out-- we're cool. We're friends. Forgiven and forgotten. So I had no idea where this was coming from. All so she could tell me to "get over it" in public, I guess. I had to laugh, though.

Sunday was better, but fixing a corroded car battery and taking it to the shop to get tested is no way to spend a sunny afternoon. But it was either this or have no ride to the airport tomorrow.

So, if good and bad things happen in threes, then I guess I'll be having a pretty good week starting in a few hours. And I think I'll try and find a new ride to get on.