My New Fix

I have a new toy.

It's a (sweet) SLR digital camera that I got last week. I'm so proud of myself because I bought it off craigslist at over half-off the original. Yeah, it's used, but it's f*ing sweet, just the case.

This will be the first major purchase I've made in a long time, and I'm happy for doing so, only because photography is an old hobby of mine. I actually have a few photo shoots coming up, and I needed to get equipment, fast.

Now that I have that covered, I have about 300 pages of manual to learn it. Again.

Hells yeah!

(...)

Oh, and I think that actress from Ally McBeal came in today. The blonde with the curly hair. I couldn't stop staring, just because she was really pretty. She was being helped by someone else, but I couldn't help but make small talk with her (secretly, when her sales person was off the floor.) We chit-chatted about what shoes she should take. I would like to think it was my opinion that made her settle on the gold ones, but who knows?

It wasn't even that she was a star, it was that she was beautiful. I don't think it clicked about her being an actress until after she left.

I think I'm in love.

Don't Be Coy

I hate it when girls like to play games. Friend or not, they always seem to try and get the upper hand.

B was just like that tonight. There was a mutual friend's party at a bar (which was, no less, a block from my sister's house-- bonus,) and she came late with her boyfriend a couple of other mutual (ex) work friends.

I tried to talk to her. Twice. I thought perhaps she would have a smoke with me and we could chat. But both times, she purposely invited someone else along to avoid having to talk to me.

Both times she came without a jacket. And both times I offered her mine. And she accepted. The second smoke break, I grabbed her by the elbow to see if she would talk to me. Walking away hurriedly, she motioned that she had something else more important to do.

I really don't know why all the effort.

I made one last attempt, too. During the second smoke break, I took an extra cigarette, just to see if that would cue a "talk." Nope. Her move to block was having the friend's boyfriend continue useless banter. I could tell it was forced because he was running out of things to say and she was forcedly engaging him in conversation.

Needless to say, I even opened by buying her the first drink. Even her boyfriend didn't do that. Weird, huh?

I made one final ditch to chat. When she got up to leave I asked her to talk. A few feet from the group. Her excuse to go into detail was that she was inebriated. There were details about her leaving, then me taking a trip, so realistically, there would be 4 weeks before we could really "chat." I gave up and said all right, as long as we were okay until then. She agreed.

Then outside, when they were leaving I made a final play. "What are you doing Sunday," I asked.

"Nothing. I think," she said.

"Great, then I'll call you."

She said nothing. I trumped her. Finally!

Even if we don't talk, for her this is extremely weird. Extremely.

Settling In. Again.

Today I met my (new) job head-on.

I think the best part about my attitude is I DON'T CARE about making friends. I'm there to work. I caught a few glances today-- people who are watching me. A few of the people in my department are really friendly; the rest aren't trying to get to know me. Those are the ones I know are going to feel threatened by me.

I have learned that it's good to have enemies. Sometimes.

It was my second day at the new job, and I was raring to go. My new uniform was altered, I had business cards, and I completed all the training I would need to. (Sidenote: I spent my day off yesterday studying the merchandise for this season. It felt like I was cramming for a huge exam.)

Seriously, I give extra points to my new job for having everything ready for me so quickly.

Anyway, I thought there would be more training. Nope. We had a product meeting this morning, I had an espresso, then I went out into my new world and started selling.

Admittedly, I felt a little intimidated by the fact that I know very little about shoes. But I got over that after my third customer. It seems that the majority of the people I helped today knew exactly what they wanted, which is a marked difference from the world I just came from. I really did very little in the selling aspect. In fact, I helped a girl today who cried out, "Sold!" as soon as I told her the shoes she was trying on would work with jeans. I just smiled. Then shut up. It was that easy.

And people, I cannot BELIEVE how many kids carry cash on hand. This kid from high school-- high school-- dropped cash for his pair of shoes. And they weren't $50 either. Ho. Ly. Cow.

I know I raved about how much I loved my job a month ago. But I think I'm gonna like this one better.

(...)

I ran into PG's sister tonight on the way home. Turns out she was looking for me at my old job and they told her I was gone.

Now, she knows PG and I are not speaking. And even despite all of that, I actually get along with her sister pretty well. I adore her as a person. It's like she's my little sister. We talked about her job (she's working with some people I used to work with,) and her underage drinking escapades-- apparently PG doesn't know she drinks *shhhhhh!,* and her upcoming birthday, which, quite frankly, I would celebrate without PG just because I think the girl is cool.

So we exchanged phone numbers and parted ways. I had told her to say hi to her sister (out of habit,) then caught myself and said, "Forget it. We're not speaking."

She replied while walking away, "Don't worry. I'll get you guys back together!"

I hurriedly answered, "Whatever."

I thought the sentiment was sweet. But I wonder if her sister thinks there's anything between us. We're not speaking. And I'm tired of being put "on hold." I don't know why she's being a turd right now, and I really don't want to deal with it. Her sister is amazing, though, and it's funny because I feel obligated to keep a separation between us necessary. Just because it seems appropriate.

All in all, we'll see. I don't think that I should let a broken friendship get in the way of a new one, even if they're related. But I also don't think it wise to let a relative get involved in something better left alone, especially since things are kind of fragile at the moment.

Secretly, I hope things could work out. But that's only in the corners of my mind.

For now, I should worry about selling tomorrow.

Ride The Storm

I spent the first nice day we've had this summer at my favorite place.

There's a little promenade in Brooklyn overlooking the city. It's just under the Manhattan bridge in a little chic neighborhood called DUMBO. I would love to live there, but perhaps 5 years ago, before it became chic.

Anyway, it's got the most amazing view, and I spent the last moments of the sunset watching the water and making a few phone calls.

I called my (now-ex) GM. I kept it brief and expressed my desire to move forward with my decision to leave. I also told her I was very moved by the sentiment expressed by the management team. They really touched me in expressing their feelings they had toward me, and in only based from a few weeks. She wished me luck and asked that I stay in touch. I told her I would.

And I know what will happen next. This next job will be challenging. It may take a while for me to find my place, only because I'm in a new environment.

Boss and I spent the day together. Yes, despite the feelings I've expressed about my work history with him, we're actually friends outside of work. And it's a good thing, because he really gave me a lot in preparing me for this moment. A lot of good advice and mentoring in my development over the last almost 3 years. I have the confidence to take this next position mostly because of Boss' investment in me, albeit indirectly.

Anyway, we went to Costco and got some things he needed. And we talked about my next move. He's still behind me and thinks it's a good decision overall. And I trust his opinion, because it's one of the only solutions where we both win-- I won't become a potential "threat" to his business, I get to develop my own standing, and we can stay friends. And he's a good friend to have. For a lot of reasons.

Ultimately, I feel this is the best course for me. Should I decide to stay with the (old) company, I don't think I would be happy in the long run. I would always be wondering "what if." I told this to my GM. I also expressed that this is the first decision I get to make on my own merits, and not "influenced" by anyone else.

That is what I believe is the most empowering point to all of this. I don't need to fix something I think is broken. I'm moving on. Just like with PG. And B. And a lot of other things in my life I cannot do anything about.

And it's through this decision that I'm also setting the tone for the rest of my life. I gave each and every one of those parts my all. I gave my heart (and sometimes) soul to those elements in my life. They didn't work out-- great. Okay. Let's try something else. Let's stop worrying about the past. And let's move on to what could be my future.

It's with that I realize that I will come back to these unresolved matters in the future. With B, I will find a way to fix things. PG can fuck off. I gave her more than a few chances, and it seems like she's taking things the wrong way.

Anyway, all in all, tomorrow will be a great day. It's a new beginning. And I feel ready to take on the storm that life will bring.

I can ride it out now.

Last Day

I've said before, I'm never one for goodbyes.

Had one final talk with my GM. And after that, another final talk with all the managers. They didn't want to see me go. They even made one last play, asking that I think about things after tonight.

But they know my decision is made.

I did all the important things. Divided up the clients I've developed amongst the team. Put all my receipts, paperwork, and faxes in a box.

I even sold a little today. Just a little. Today was fun, though. The fish weren't biting, but I still committed to the very end.

And I'm proud of my work. I performed better than expected. I think ultimately, this is how you should leave a job-- fully committed to the last possible moment. And even now, my job isn't finished. I still have to follow through with a few items. But that is something I will do next week.

Monday starts a new career. And I still feel that this is the right move to make. I explained that my reasons are because I feel that I am in control and not at the whim of other factors. The fact that I'm leaving while things are good means that this is more along the lines of a good decision.

And that's what I know it will be.

Parent For A Day

I had a good day with the kids (niece and nephew.) Sister was having a business lunch with her husband, so I gladly volunteered to pick them up after school and do their activities.

It was interesting being a "parent" for a day, mostly because I got to see this whole new world for a few hours today. And while I think that parenting is a universal thing, New York parenting seems to be on a completely different level.

It's nerve-wracking to be a New York parent. There just seems to be so much more danger at every turn. I felt my heart leap out of my chest a few times when I couldn't find my niece at the playground (little turd ran so damn fast when I turned around to her brother,) and started worrying about the germs they were picking up just playing in the sandbox.

But kids are amazing. Resilient. Fearless. Brazen. You almost have nothing to worry about.

Almost.

I think the one moment that made my day was this kid at the sandbox. I swear he must have been 4 or 5. He stood up in front of everyone and was pretending to be the host for a kids show, complete with sing-alongs. Now, there were at least 20 kids at the sandbox and almost as many parents. No matter how many or how few were paying attention, this kid just belted out song after song. Didn't care who was watching. Stayed in character the whole time. By the end of the second or third song, even I was clapping, just because I was impressed. Simply impressed.

Anyway, the three of us just had a ball. Soccer, pizza, ice cream (twice.) I'm a rad uncle. And I had fun driving them home during rush hour traffic. It was a nice Friday afternoon down Lexington Avenue.

We got home and I cooked dinner. Homemade pomodoro al fresco. With spaghetti. And somewhere along there I fell asleep for a quick nap.

So it was fun being a parent for a day. I'll be fine when I have kids. Just not in this city.

But you never know.

The Devil You Know...

...Is Better Than The Devil You Don't.

Those are the words of wisdom a good friend parted on me today.

And it does create a sliver of doubt as to whether or not my choice will be a good one.

Granted, my friend does work for the company I work for. Currently. But he's also the only one who wanted my succession to be at my current position. There is a little part of me that still believes in loyalty and making sacrifices for a greater good in the long haul. But there is also a part of me that sees why I should be making this choice right now.

Why I Should Stay:
1) My current managers love me. This is because I get along with all of them great. No qualms. They love that I produce. They love that I take initiative. And don't complain. And despite my tendency to challenge, I have received no problem feedback. So far.
2) Another associate just quit. And he's established. That's almost given business to me. More opportunity to succeed beyond what I planned.
3) I'm on a roll. I finished 4th in the company last week. That is huge! Especially for a new associate. And that was despite a slow week. Within a month of being there.
4) I'm building relationships. A little of my business so far has been with corporate employees. And they love me. I am willing to work for them and call them until they get annoyed. As long as they get what they want. Right?
5) I can shine. I know where I stand with my current staff. I can still succeed with the current staff in place. I have all the skills to make the extra dollar. It doesn't bother me that they don't like me. Who gives a fuck? Really?

Why I Should Go:
1) I was passed over. I really wanted a job at my old store. Granted, it's another division in the company, and I was definitely qualified, but I was passed up. Three times. Then I was told I was not qualified.
2) Boss has too much influence. And if he's able to affect my old GM's decision to keep me from working there, then I wouldn't want to work with him, anyway. Fuck that.
3) Volume. Just on volume alone, I can succeed at this new position.
4) Message. The underlying reason is to send a message to the people that matter: Fuck You!
5) Success. While I still have yet to determine my level of success with the new company, the only way I feel I can get the other party to take me seriously is to make a statement now.

Does that make any sense? It isn't about money as much as it is about respect.

Respect.

Doesn't anyone know the meaning of the word today?

Counter-Offer

I met with my (current) GM today.

We hadn't had the chance to talk since she went on holiday almost two weeks ago. Since my notice is almost up, she asked if we could have a moment to speak.

It's how (in my mind) most conversations go when your current employer doesn't want to lose you. We went back and forth over the benefits to my staying, the growth of the company division, and the potential for my future. I argued that where I would be going will be a better opportunity.

I felt that she wouldn't give up on me unless I gave her an answer so I gave her the ultimate stall tactic: I said I needed to think about things. I told her that we should meet on Saturday, which is my last scheduled day. This is for added effect.

There is only one question to ask at this point. If she believes in me that much, then I should ask her if she would let me come back if my new venture doesn't work out. A reasonable time frame, like a month, I think would be acceptable.

To me, it's a win-win argument. If the answer is "yes," then I could say that I have nothing to lose and should see this arrangement through, on the grounds that I can have my position back, although I understand that she can't "hold" a job for me. If the answer is "no," then I should agree that my decision to leave is a good one. After all, why would I want to work for a manager that throws out ultimatums or "last offers"?

I think that this course of action would be the best, only because I've made my mind up. There really is nothing I can think of at this point.

Can you?

Breaking Up Is (Fun!) To Do

Giving notice to your old bosses is kind of like telling an ex that you're "moving on."

You know, it's not you, it's me, and I think we're better off seeing other people. Ouch.

At least, that's what it felt like all day yesterday. I went by the old job after completing paperwork for the new one, and proceeded to share the news that I would be moving to another company.

I'll be honest-- part of my doing so was because a) I was practicing professional courtesy, and b) I wanted to spread the news instead of Boss doing so (that little gossip!) But the other part was to send those people who passed me up a nice, big, fat middle finger. In a way, it was like telling that ex to "sod off," and that you're moving on to greener pastures (or a much, much, hotter new relationship.)

So there was a mild satisfaction I received out of it. Albeit to my (non) surprise, Boss had already told a few people before I came by on Friday (read: the whole store already knew.)

And I'm not sad for doing so. In a way, it was a (huge) blessing that I got passed up and looked over-- it just spurred my determination to perform better.

And speaking of performing, I just closed on a personal best this week! My performance this week was on par with the top associates in my store. I will probably finish #2 in sales this week, which isn't bad for only a month.

I plan to give my last week my absolute best and make my sales goal for the month, even though I'll be leaving a week early. I told my managers that I would see this job through, even though I gave notice. It's the least I could do.

Message

I left a message for Cute Girl last night. It went straight to voicemail when I called at around 9:30pm, which made me think that she might have a night job. Maybe.

"Hi, this is Recess Monkey. I wanted to call you and say thanks for the cup of coffee last week. I would like to ask you out so that I can repay the favor. And I thought I should tell you that since I've met you, I've been having a lot of good luck lately, so I would like to continue my lucky streak and see you again.

"Give me a call when you're free this week. (My number.) Talk with you soon. Ciao."

That didn't sound too cheesy, did it?

I guess if she doesn't call back by the end of the week, I should forget about hearing from her. For now, at least. I even thought I would try and gift her a coffee card-- just to make one last effort, but that is something the old me would have done, so I vetoed myself. Then I proceeded to scold myself for being such a sap. It should be enough that I've called her. Twice. If she doesn't reply, then she must not be interested.

It's a wrap. Move on. Too bad, sweetie.

I remember this guy I used to work with speak of "the law of averages." Basically, the more women you go out with (hot or not,) the better your chances of finding someone you'll be happy with. Now, I'm not entirely sure I want to start dating women at random, although I have been noticing more attractive women randomly lately...

Hmmmmmm. Might need to do the math on this one.

On The Thought Of (Relative) Adulthood

Tonight I caught up with an old friend.

I think the strangest phenomenon for me is realizing how fast time has been flying in my life. I have a lot of friends from the city I lived before NYC, and I stay in touch with a good number of them. It's often when I'm talking with them, when I think of all the moments leading up to our current friendship at present, when I start getting a funny feeling: I'm going to be 30 very soon.

And with that is the realization that every one else's life is progressing toward adult-hood. It's natural; people getting married, buying houses, having a kid. Having another kid.

These are the same people I partied my ass off with almost 7 years ago. Back then, life was in no certain terms. We didn't have stable jobs or "career paths," for that matter. We were transient, moving from relationship to relationship, from city to city, apartment to apartment.

Now, it seems, life slowed us down a bit. 401K's are of concern. The financial ability to buy a house is suddenly a valued commodity. Being able to raise 1.5 kids is a viable skill set. All the accoutrements that come with being an adult are now overshadowed by the looming responsibility of debt, death, and taxes.

It's a strange place to be. Outside of this circle. Reasonably speaking, I don't fall into these certain terms. I've still got my relative youth (read: freedom.) No girlfriend, new job, almost zero-debt. I have my whole life ahead of me at this point.

But I'm starting to think differently. I'm starting to make plans for nest eggs and "the future." I catch myself thinking about the "next step in my life," and it scares me, quite honestly. I didn't think these things mattered until now.

In a few short years, it seems, I think they will.

2 Weeks Notice

I gave my two weeks last night.

I think this has been the first time since I've started working that I've ever given a company notice because I was taking another job. I've had "extenuating circumstances" in the past, but nothing that was professionally driven.

I was a little nervous. I didn't want to do it this week, but my GM was taking vacation for a week and would be leaving today. I had printed my letter of resignation the night before and saved it on a flash drive, just in case I would need to use it sooner. When no one was using the computer (or looking,) I printed it, signed, and kept it in my pocket.

She looked a little surprised when I told her. I mentioned that the other company approached me, although I sought them out a long time ago. Then she asked if I had any reasons at my present job to influence my decision to leave...

I thought about this a moment. It just so happened that within the previous 24 hours I went through an ugly ordeal involving a customer's order. The package was lost. And it took me 2 hours of my day off to track it down. Over the phone. And it was the lack of urgency on my management team's part that really turned my screws about the whole situation. I called back and forth between two offices, perhaps, 15 times before the matter got resolved.

When I got to work yesterday, my GM apologized for the mix-up. Her undertone with the matter was to implicate the individual who packed my things, saying that he had a few complaints already against him. I did my best not to press the issue, only because that wasn't where I felt the competency lacked. Later that day, I found out the package was mis-delivered. Again. They resolved the matter, but because I found no one had told me, I was a little more infuriated.

Then I got reprimanded for another separate incident where I went over her head to get an answer from our corporate office. Or it seemed, at least, to her.

So I thought before I answered. It would be unwise for me to pass the buck on what transpired over the last day. And my other reasons for leaving would be unfounded, because I would have to take issue at my old store. So I said my decision was purely professional. No need to burn bridges now. Or ever.

I handed my letter and smiled, keeping the conversation as light as possible. I decided to keep my future place of employment a secret for now. The only people that know are a few from my old job, and I won't make an official announcement until the last possible minute. I'm sure that my GM will tell my old store, then everyone over there will know before I get to say anything.

Sure enough, at the end of my shift one of my managers asked where I would be going. I said I would not be telling for now. She pressed, asking if it was a financial decision. I said it was. Then she asked if I would be doing the same thing-- selling. It was at this point I tried to end the conversation. I told her that despite my decision, I really respected her style of management.

This took her by surprise. She smiled as she held the door open for me. I offered my help over the next two weeks, mentioning to let me know if they want me to end my employment sooner, and that I would understand.

My walk home felt good for a change. I feel good about this decision, albeit the suddenness. And I decided that I wouldn't be making any more moves for a while. Not for the next couple of years, anyway.

Unless I get offered a part in a movie.

I Confessed

Tonight I told someone I know that I blog.

It's like revealing your secret identity in a way. For most of us, blogging has the capability of being anonymous, allowing us to be free about expressing our feelings, thoughts, desires, and general hub-bub. But that's the whole key: anonymity. Some people choose not to be, and that's okay, but it's a release to be able to freely talk about anything knowing it can't get back to haunt you at a later date.

I tried to be vague about things. I was relaying on how it's easy to do so if you keep things anonymous, and even then, if someone you do know finds your page at random, you'll have changed enough of the names, places, and details for any ties to come back to you.

So I got home and went right to my computer. I did a search, just to test and see if anything could come back to me. Just to be safe.

First I searched my e-mail. Nothing. I was relieved.

Then I searched my name. There were enough hits just with that, but no links to my blog or any posts. I felt even better.

Then I typed my First and Last name, followed by "blog."

One entry came up in front of a lot of random links. This link was a comment that I posted to someone almost two years ago.

I flipped down to the comment page, where my name, all bright in hyperlink stood out. I cringed. I clicked on the link, barely looking at the screen.

There it was. My blogger profile. Along with the link for this blog.

Shit. I'm screwed. If he, or anyone I know, gets that cleaver...

I'm not too worried, only because I don't gossip about anyone. It's the personal things I'm concerned with. There are a few mentions to people we work with, but hopefully I've been vague enough. And even if he told those people, (I'm counting on the hope that he'll keep quiet about things,) it's even more of a tiny chance any of it will get back to me.

I'm crossing my fingers.

My New Alarm Clock

I have never, in my life, been woken up by my stomach. From hunger. Indigestion, perhaps. But that was when I was a teenager and eating an entire Pizza Hut pizza seemed like a good idea. No, it's not. Or when I was a bit younger and thought you could survive off Corona, cigarettes, and a late-night helping of Monica's Idea/Mass Confusion at the Denver Diner. (This is a breakfast mountain of biscuits, scrambled eggs, white gravy, and topped with bacon bits.) Also not a good idea. But I digress...

My tummy went off at 5:45am, blaring like an alarm clock. Mind you, my clock isn't set to go off until 7am. Growl! Growl! Growl!... I shot out of bed and pacified myself with a small glass of OJ, but that's so I can sleep for another 30 minutes (after I write this.) No need to upset an already upset stomach, right?

Geez! I didn't think eating 6 times a day would have this kind of effect on me. It is working, though, as the spare tire around my tummy has gone from the size of an inner tube to the size of a hula-hoop. Or at least it feels that way.

Maybe it's anxiety over what I will be doing for a job over the next few weeks. On one hand, with Offer #2 I could be earning a lot more money. On the other, longevity with my current employer might be a better fit.

But I remember thinking that Offer #2's benefit program had a free gym membership. And I've been scheming on a way to get to the gym for free. Hmmmmm.

Must deliberate more on this. After a huge breakfast.

I love breakfast.

Things Are Moving Along

So I got the call from Offer #2.

They want to make an offer.

It was against my usual rules for professionalism (don't search for another job at your current one,) but I made an exception, mostly because this has been going on for almost 6 months now. And just as I was talking to their HR department, one of my managers comes back to make a phone call.

I wasn't nerve-wracked, mostly because I observed that people tend to be self-absorbed with their own "shopping lists" (Did I leave the gas on?) kind of things, so I tried to ask and reply as cryptically as possible, keeping the questions and answers as ambiguous as possible. This is so that I can always say that I've got to see the doctor, dentist, or take my car in for repair. I set up an appointment for later this week, which gives me a few days to think things over. And get a much-needed haircut.

Most of what has been going through my mind is the aftermath of what will happen if I take the job and subsequently give my notice.

Yes, my reason would be mostly money-driven (and this job could pay significantly more,) but a lot of it is because my current position isn't what I really wanted. It felt as though I was shuffled off to the side. Now, while there has been a lot of buzz about me-- I say this because a lot of the company people have said, "I've heard a lot of good things about you," that still doesn't make up for what I've come to realize has been a political move to transfer me out for a lot of reasons I don't want to go into right now. A lot of it has to do with (now ex-) Boss. And just because I'm making more money here doesn't mean there isn't something better out there.

I'm just contemplating if I should write a letter stating my reasons for leaving. It's not a wise move, considering the old adage that you should "never burn your bridges." And perhaps that might just be the rule to follow.

I am tempted, though.

(...)

I called Cute Girl (which will be her name for now, until things progress.) Message. That's okay, since I waited a few days. Admittedly, I've been thinking about her a bit, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective since I just met her.

(...)

I did talk to PG today, when I called the old job. She was answering phones today because there was no one else on Mondays. I asked how she was doing. "Not good," she said, which has been her answer the last few weeks. She said that it was because she was sick, but I know better. She's been going through a really rough patch since last year after she graduated college. Searching for jobs, but no really good offers. In and out of the company. She's really frustrated right now because of it, and it seems to be taking a toll on her. Timing maybe. Who knows. I asked if she would call me soon. She said she will. I don't know when that will be, but I'm sure it will happen. She knows I care about her still. I just don't know to what degree she cares back.

But that's the way things happen with me. Eventually. And right now, things are looking up.

So it's only a matter of time.

Okay, Now What?

So the girl from yesterday? As promised, I went to the cute girl's job during my lunch. She was there, working on some stuff with a customer. I walked over and said hello. She looked up and smiled. "Oh, what a nice surprise," she said back. I saw she was busy and said I would walk around a bit.

Truth be told I was only coming in to say hi. But she said she was about to take her lunch and asked if I wanted to join her. "Sure," I said, "but I can't stay long." I waited around a bit more and wandered around.

[**SIDENOTE: I should mention that one of the reasons I decided I liked her was that she is European. (Extra points for being exotic.) I find I have better luck with non-American girls. (Or if they are American, they tend to be older-- which might explain the pass Kim made at me.) She's from the Ukraine, originally, which has no bearing other than it means that she's not from here, which to me, means I have a better chance of getting along. And perhaps that's been my stigma all along: dating American girls on or around my age. Just no luck. At all. Europe: no problem. Older: no problem. I have NO fucking clue as to why. Yet.**]

We went for a nice (albeit short) walk and decided on a cup of coffee. When she decided to pay, it kind of threw me off. Granted, a nice sign. But I was actually, like, Wow... I don't think that's ever happened... to me... before... We walked a little more, looking for some shoes (the one thing I couldn't sell her yesterday.) I recommended a store across the street and we picked out a pair. She made sure to compliment me, saying I "was good," and that I really knew my stuff. I was beginning to think she might have the wrong idea about me, so I made sure to ask what her future plans were for the next few days, with the tone of I-totally-want-to-date-you. I told her I had to get going before I got the third degree from work. When we exited the shoe store, I handed her a card with my cell phone. "You have mine, right," she made sure to ask, to which I acknowledged. "Then call me anyway," she smiled. I told her I would.

But I noticed that she flipped. Earlier in the conversation, she said she might be open to a cup of coffee Sunday afternoon. Then when we parted ways, she said she might be busy later tomorrow. My first impulse was, that it was to make sure she didn't come across too easy. After all, she was the one who suggested we go for a coffee. I only told her (yesterday) that I was going to show up. And that's all I did. She led the rest of the way.

So here's where I'm at: I think the only thing to do is NOT call her tonight or tomorrow. Yeah, I think the 2nd Day Rule should be observed in this case-- after all, I don't want to come across as too easy as well. But I think I should definitely call her and ask her out for something this week. Something easy, and cheap (since I paid off my car-- ouch!) That rules out a lot of things. But I know I need to make a move pretty soon, or I'll lose the momentum that has been going pretty well so far.

Any suggestions?