Cute... But Stinky

We finally got some snow, which I like but never look forward to. It's kind of like having an annoying friend whom you know comes around every once in a while, but then after a few minutes they're not so annoying.

Charleigh is funny. The world's hyper-ist dog. I've decided to dub her "Little Miss Captain Poopers" after the last few "suprises" I've recieved coming home some nights. No matter how much or how often I punish her, she still does it, which eventually ended up leading to me feeding her less. It seems to work.

She's sitting on my lap now, and has to keep switching positions to get comfortable. Awwwww. Cute... but stinky.

Dogs are funny creatures. This is my first time taking care of one, so it's funny to see the similarities between them and little kids. Always yelling at them for doing something wrong. Always needing lots of attention all the time. Always cleaning up a mess they made.

And she's gotten used to me. She isn't so hyper around me anymore, and settles down when I do. That's a good sign. I used to get worried when I'd go to bed, because it took her half an hour to even calm down. Now she just knows.

I'll talk on her more later. Right now I'd better crash.

My New Year's Resolutions

I given some thought to things I want to see done in the next year. I know that if I at least write them down, there's a good chance of me completing about 75% of what I want to get done.

So here goes:

1.) I will start auditioning once a month, whether or not I want or can do the job. I will not let the fear of rejection or my self-doubts stop me.

2.) I will continue to learn Icelandic until I am proficient enough to write and speak well.

3.) I will save at least $5,000 for an investment.

4.) I will continue to lose weight until I reach 165 lbs. I will do this by means of proper diet and exercise. I will strive to have an active, healthy lifestyle.

5.) I will quit smoking.

6.) I will learn all I can about my job and strive to be the best in my field.

7.) I will purchase a tenor saxophone and learn to play jazz again.

8.) I will become very good at time and money management, and learn to make important choices and good decisions.

9.) I will continue to maintain this journal and publish my own website.

10.) I will pay off all my outstanding bills and get myself out of debt.


That should do it for now. We'll see how it turns out.

A Silent Night...

This marks my first Christmas alone. It's quite a different feeling not being with anyone during this holiday. I don't really feel alone -- I mean, with all the phone calls, how could you? I kind of like it. No one to hang with, no where to go, nothing to do. It's fitting for my first year here in New York. It's acutally a chioce because I guess I could be out at a party somewhere with a lot of people I don't really know. I don't want to, though.

So, here I sit, thinking on the last year's events and what I'll wish to resolve by next year.

It comes to mind that for the last few holidays I would make a drunken mess of myself, so I guess this year was a better alternative. Just a mellow, unassuming holiday.

That being said, I kind of like being alone, not all the time, but sometimes. I notice this departure from wanting to be surrounded by people and happenings and just wanting to be in more silence. Well, there is music playing, but you get the idea. It feels nice. Besides, I'm not into all the holiday stuff anymore.

I think I'm gonna rearrange my room...

Blasts from the past...

So I ran into two old friends today, one from my hometown, and the other from my last stay here in New York.

It's strange for me because in all the years of bartending I couldn't remember someone's name from two or three weeks before, but after 6 years I can pull a person's name out of a hat, and VOILA!

I've so far ran into almost everyone that comprised my last New York experience in the last three months. It's a great feeling, yet wierd when I compare it to how many times I've forgotten names with faces I would see each week in Colorado...

My recent run-in was with a fellow co-worker of the past. I was thrilled to see him because I can only think of what I was so many years ago. It seemed like a different life, like I was a different person.

I want to explore this part of my life; I want to find out what I've missed in the last few years.

But I guess that kind of how things go. I don't know how this holiday will end up.

We'll see...

Thank God It Wasn't Me

So we had a Christmas party at work the other day, something that in my experience usually ends up bad... for me. First of all, I'm a light weight when it comes to drinking, have always been, and this fact didn't seem to become important until that very night. I have had my nights of debauchery and embarassment, many of them with incriminating pictures for all to see.

Like many of us, I have a little switch which seems to stop working after the fourth or fifth shot/beer/cocktail, at which point, it's lights out. I usually wake up somewhere (usually at home,) wondering where I was, what I did, and whom I did it to (it's even worse if I wake up naked.) This usually follows with a period of anxiety and worrying, where I call as many people I remember were there, apologizing about my supposed behavior because, "I drank too much last night," so on and so forth.

I awoke on Sunday with not only a splitting headache, but my pants ripped in the back pocket and the smell of vomit on my shoes and coat. Interestingly enough, nothing of mine was missing, save a few cigarettes and my lighter. I was a little freaked out because I was in New York, where I don't really know or trust anybody, yet I made it to my apartment safe and sound.

Then it started settling in. What did I do? Oh no! When did I blackout? How the fuck did I get home? How did I get my coat? Did I get thrown out?

I also had a sharp pain on my collarbone, but nowhere else, so I wondered if I got in a fight.

Mind you, the times this has happened before, I was always with trusted friends who took care of me, drove me home, and put me in my apartment. No harm, no foul (except for whatever comprimising pictures ended up being taken.) There was one time in particular, during one of my birthdays, where I blacked out and came to at another party... dancing. The stories I heard the following week shocked me, only because I couldn't believe I did all the things people said I did within the time I don't remember.

So, imagine my relief when I went to work and the whole day the only thing I got made fun of were my "freaky dance moves." Whew! Nothing else. And the only picture I saw was of me in a conga line making a funny death-metal face.

However, I did find a pink slip from a hospital... Hmmmm.

What Are The Chances?

I was thinking of an old friend today and wondered what the chances were that I would run into her randomly on the streets. Out of 8-12 million people here in the City, what would be the mere chances?

I don't know. Every day there are different faces on the same path I take to work and home, and not one person is in the same place at the same time. Except me, it seems. I don't recognize anyone. And I travel to and fro at almost exactly the same time each day.

I guess that's the key. Almost. But what are the chances that people ever follow the same exact pattern each day of their lives? Taking the same train and riding in the same car at the same time time each day? Even I don't do that.

One could find comfort in this. A world of strangers each and every day. In a way, I guess it could be comforting to be an anonymous face in a city of millions, just going through the motions of every day life.

I guess I just hope to run into her, especially since I haven't a way to get in touch with her.

Vexed In The City

I still can't believe I'm living in New York. Even after all this time it still surprises me. I used to remember feeling awed every day by life in the Big Apple -- the people, the subways, the buildings. Everything seemed so... BIG! I remember walking for hours upon hours just up and down midtown Manhattan and feeling so small.

I often forget that I had a different life not even twelve months ago. A year ago I was running a would-be multi-million dollar nightclub. Events, parties, people; everything was always going so fast. Now life has taken a slower pace. It seems to be just bouncing along comfortably.

I remember when I made the decision to come back here. I was visiting my sister about four years ago in Manhattan. While I was looking at the view from her balcony, I secretly promised myself to make it back here. I felt New York was where I needed to be, amidst all the hustle and bustle of this tiny little island.

About six months ago, whilst closing up one of the club's biggest nights, it hit me; I decided to leave. It was time to move on. Even three weeks before I left Denver I still couldn't believe I was going to be here.

Now that moment has passed and I find myself realizing I'm far from my life in Colorado. What happened the last six years of my life? Sometimes it seems like I can sum everything up in a few flashing memories. What now?

I think to my main goal in life: to pursue acting. It seems too far to touch sometimes. It itches at me each day that goes by that I haven't auditioned for a part. What am I waiting for?

Sometimes I think I wait too much. Perhaps it's time to change that way of thinking as well...

On The Importance Of Being Late

Today was one of those days where when I run late by about 15 minutes, it ends up becoming almost an hour late to work. I've gotten in the habit of calling in and overshooting my expected arrival time. So if I'm late catching the bus, and I know my commute is an hour door to door, I'll thus call in 45 minutes late to give myself some leeway.

But every once in a while you get screwed. Like today. I ended up almost an hour late and recieved "the talk" -- you know, the one where your boss pulls you aside and lectures you about how everyone needs to be on time or it unglues the very fabric morale of your department? I should know, I've given this one before.

I hate being on the recieving end, though. Ugh.

Ah, no big. I think it's funny that it always happens right after I've had a day off and I'm fully rested. Go figure, huh? I can be on time for every other day of the week except after my day off.

Well, on the bright side, I get a chance to bartend this weekend. I sure miss those days of slinging drinks and shots. But that's another story.

No, I actually like my life the way it is. I'm not working in such a volitile industry anymore. I'm not drunk five nights a week. I actually like waking up at 6am, not going to bed at 6. Call it a side effect of growing up. I don't know.

Am I really all grown up? I don't know. Sometimes I think, "Yeah, I pay bills, I eat my vegetables, I brush my teeth, I must be grown up." Then at work, people say to me, "You're still a baby. Blah, blah, blah..." I guess I don't want to wake up one day and realize that all the fun I wanted to have has been replaced with a new set of responsibilities. I don't want to realize that this whole time I've really been sleeping in when I should have been out there having a good time. I don't want to be late for life. I used to think 25 was young.

Maybe it's really old.

Lost... With A Map!

I don't drive that often now that I live in New York, but every once in a while you want to take a little jaunt down to the local grocery store, or to the movies, like I did today. I came to realize why so many people don't own cars in the city...

On my way home today, I thought I would take just take the next street over to the main road that got me to the movies. Oh no, not so simple. Before long, I ended up on the a highway on my way to Queens, which is almost 10 miles from where I needed to be in the first place! Ugh! And when I finally DID reach a landmark I knew and made it home, it was ONE HOUR later.

And I only live 5 minutes away from the movie theatre.

Maybe it's me. I don't know. But every time I've driven in Brooklyn, it's taken me twice as long to find my way home as it did when I got there in the first place. You think that you take a few adjacent streets to get back and the next thing you know you're so far off from the path you took in the first place, you might as well have taken a bus.

Maybe I will.

Attack Of The Peeing Dog

Aaaaaarrrgh! If I have to clean up ONE more random pee attack from this dog, I'm gonna scream!

See, when Charleigh gets excited (like when she sees a neighbor,) she just lets the river run wild. This happens at least twice a week. I guess on the bright side, it's at least on a hardwood floor and not a rug.

I don't know if there are any dog parks in Brooklyn, but we'll go for a walk. It's raining outside, which kind of stinks because I don't have a reliable umbrella. Oh well.

I'm gonna check out The Increadibles later today with my neighbor, Owen. Been looking forward to see that since last May when I saw the preview. It's nice to have today off, since I've been pulling some mad overtime the last two weeks.

Now Open: Alee's Journal

This will be my first online journal. I think it would be an interesting experiment because I used to keep journals long ago but found that moving them from place to place was such a hassle. And while I think it's more of a private personal thing, I like the idea of sharing my thoughts with everyone. I also wanted to have a place where I could keep my friends and family up to date with me. So if you're reading this, feel free to comment. I'll be leaving pictures and more info about me in the future.

(...)

I like it here in New York. The second time around doesn't seem so bad. I think a lot of it has to do with growing up over the years, but I also think that all my first experiences here 6 years ago were just to kind of get them "out of the way," in a manner of speaking.

I went to Philidelphia two days ago, helping out my neighbor from upstairs by giving him a ride there. I am starting to see more of the US now that I'm out of Denver. When I drove to the City two months ago I saw Boston, Chicago, and Buffalo. I think I would like to visit a different city once a month. I'll be going to Rhode Island for New Year's to spend NYE with my buddy Tex.

(...)

I should tell you about Charleigh. She is SUCH a spaz; I have never met a dog who runs EVERYwhere she goes (even if it's two feet)! I'm keeping an eye on her while my roommate is out of town. I'm thinking about getting a dog someday, but maybe not a Jack Russel Terrier. No, something a LOT more mellow. And obedient. And potty trained.