One Call

I called an old friend from home today. She told me she was in LA now, instead of New York. That bummed me out a little; I was hoping to see her. I gave her my number and she said she'd call me after work.

But it made me think again about why I want to catch up with my past so much. I guess I think of her as kind of significant in my life in a way. But I want to see several people from years ago. I kind of left high school rather abruptly and cut all ties, charging ahead and not really looking back.

Now I'm older, and I want to check into life from the past and see how it's been. I know I've changed some over the years, but every time I run into someone from before I feel like I'm still that same confused teenager I used to be.

But instead of running from it I want to understand. I want to understand so I CAN move on. I feel like I'm ready to confront all those issues I wasn't ready to face back then.

Maybe too much time has passed... Maybe I'm too late.

Back to the old friend. If she does call back, maybe I can stay in touch and keep an old friend. But maybe it's time to let this friend go. Maybe I need to grow up and let the distance that has grown between us remain. I guess if she doesn't call me I can't blame her.