Chili and Insecurities

I'm such a cleaver little monkey.

Tonight I'm making chili for the lunch the next few nights. I've never been intuitive about cooking until recently. I was shopping at the grocery while doing my laundry ('cause I'm a multi-tasker,) I was trying to figure out how to make the chili from the ground turkey, onion, and green pepper I had from last week. So I bought a can of crushed tomatoes, a red pepper, and chicken broth.

Started the pot at home, added the stuff from last week, the ingredients from this week, some beans (black and red kidney, of course,) and...

Mmmmmm... It smells *soooo* good! Preliminary tasting confirms. Yes... I AM cleaver.

(...)

So today I came across another realization about myself: I'm insecure. Well, maybe it isn't so much a realization rather than another part of me I'm willing to face now. (I've been on a roll with that sort of thing, no?)

As much as I said I shouldn't be hanging with her, I've been trying to get to know Party Girl a little better. I know-- I'm a glutton for punishment. So I thought I would ask her to join me for lunch.

When I got down to ask her, though, Shminker (the kid I work with) was already in the lunch room with her. That sneaky bastard.

Later, when I got back from lunch, Boss was telling me about two of our disgruntled clients who were disputing card charges with our General Manager. He advised me to stay away from the room they were in. According to him, they claimed I was "rude" and refused them to see Boss when they came to visit, that I had an "attitude problem."

I was floored. I seem to remember the three of us laughing and talking about Virginia and Colorado during their visit. Then I got a flash of anger. I'm NEVER disrespectful to a client. It can be frustrating sometimes, but I don't lose my cool in front of them (it's always behind close doors.)

Long story short, I admitted to myself that I was both jealous and defensive about the two accounts today, which brought me to conclude about being insecure. It's funny about this year, because I feel more challenged than I've ever been before. More situations keep knocking me down, and I realize how much more I have to grow up.

So I guess I have a few more things to work on, except for the chili, which is pretty damn good.