Today I move apartments and I can't get out of bed.
Last night was fun. No surprise that PG didn't come after she said she would. I could tell she wasn't going to make it because of how many times she kept asking me about what was going on. Oh well. I did my part and kept her posted on where we were the whole night. I even told her not to come if she didn't want to.
She's been acting weird around me lately. She's been a little self-absorbed and has been avoiding me a lot more. I called her on it yesterday and asked what's up. She didn't tell me. But I know it's there.
It might have to do with a few weeks ago when I told her it wouldn't work out with her and that guy she was seeing. She asked for my honesty and I gave it to her. I even tried avoiding the subject, but she insisted. I told her what I really thought. And a guy we work with confirmed it for me-- he said that over lunch today, PG told him that she went on a date with a guy from CT. The date was a bust, but when he asked her about the guy she was seeing, she said they weren't talking.
Funny thing. He asked why don't I go out with PG. I simply said I didn't think she was into me that way. Truth is, I don't know anymore. I read all of my old posts about her and I called it 5 months ago. She just isn't the kind of person I need in my life at the moment. I see so many of the underlying things I want in a woman, but it's more or less like she's not ripe yet. She isn't ready for me. Maybe in a few years.
We have a friendship started, but it might need some time to set. It still reminds me of Angela-- we didn't talk for almost a year before we started to really become friends. I shouldn't worry then. It will all work out like it's supposed to.
I think I was dead on about a few of those things in my posts. I think she did like me and still does, but it's not strong enough to do anything about it yet. I also think she won't set me up with any of her friends because she wants to save me for later-- but that's just my dreamland ego talking. Who knows about this girl? I should just find a way to let go for now. We'll meet again, I'm sure.
(...)
For now I need to get up and start moving.
Sometimes it reads like your heart and your head are fighting. Wouldn't it be nice if they both agreed? One day they will...
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