I never used to understand why I wouldn't seem to have much luck when it comes to dating. It was an all too-common scenario: I meet a girl, I ask for her number and date (getting better at that,) we go on the date(yessss!,) then we never reconnect after that (curses!) It would frustrate me as to why things would never progress beyond the first encounter.
Tonight was a little different, though. Although it was a total bust (I'll explain as to why in a bit,) I noticed that I was a lot more observant than I had been in previous dates. And the other part that was different: I learned where I went wrong-- of course, it hit me on the way home, kind of like an, "Awwww, shit!," moment.
These two things alone make everything seem all right in a way. It means that I'm learning, which in turn means I'll have a better chance of "getting it right" for the next time. It also means that my confidence is not too shaken since I realized that I messed up, and it wasn't anything that I meant to do. But first impressions are everything in this case, and the thing I have learned so far isn't to take things personally.
I met this really pretty girl at a friend's dinner two weeks ago. We had brief introductions, then I had to scoot off to meet friends from Alaska (a much higher priority in my book.) Last week, I asked my friend to invite her to dinner and brought along PG as my wingman. It was a good thing because we were all friends with each other through different ways. Dinner was great and at the end of it I asked this girl for her number and a date to get some coffee.
So we met for coffee tonight. I thought we were doing pretty good, but I realize in retrospect that I wasn't as into her as I thought last week. And things were kept pretty short and sweet-- we only met for about an hour. Toward the end, I got up to use the restroom. When I got back, all of a sudden, she had to "get going." I said I had to meet friends for dinner as well (little white lie,) and we walked to our respective trains.
It was when I walked her to the station that I realized that we wouldn't be seeing each other again in this capacity. All of a sudden, the "friend" whom she was hanging out with earlier today (from our conversation,) became "the boy she was seeing." I thought it was funny for a second, then I got the message. Her tone suggested that she was "happy" and "wasn't interested." I wondered why it happened that this detail suddenly switched.
On the train ride home I figured things out. I recalled a few of the comments I had made which poked a little fun at her. I guess she didn't find them so funny after all since we hadn't known each other that well. And I guess I came on a little too strong saying things like, "I'll just put this on your tab,"-- I bought drinks the other night and coffee tonight, though it was supposed to be her treat. And I think I was a little too talkative. So all in all, she must have gathered that I was an asshole.
But that's the best I came up with. I'm 99% sure she's not interested in me that way. And I know now to be careful about what things I choose to say to be funny. Maybe next time I'll try some generic jokes or something.
Like I said, I learned pretty quickly tonight, so I'm not too torn up about it.
Too bad, though. She was pretty cute.
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