Ride The Storm

I spent the first nice day we've had this summer at my favorite place.

There's a little promenade in Brooklyn overlooking the city. It's just under the Manhattan bridge in a little chic neighborhood called DUMBO. I would love to live there, but perhaps 5 years ago, before it became chic.

Anyway, it's got the most amazing view, and I spent the last moments of the sunset watching the water and making a few phone calls.

I called my (now-ex) GM. I kept it brief and expressed my desire to move forward with my decision to leave. I also told her I was very moved by the sentiment expressed by the management team. They really touched me in expressing their feelings they had toward me, and in only based from a few weeks. She wished me luck and asked that I stay in touch. I told her I would.

And I know what will happen next. This next job will be challenging. It may take a while for me to find my place, only because I'm in a new environment.

Boss and I spent the day together. Yes, despite the feelings I've expressed about my work history with him, we're actually friends outside of work. And it's a good thing, because he really gave me a lot in preparing me for this moment. A lot of good advice and mentoring in my development over the last almost 3 years. I have the confidence to take this next position mostly because of Boss' investment in me, albeit indirectly.

Anyway, we went to Costco and got some things he needed. And we talked about my next move. He's still behind me and thinks it's a good decision overall. And I trust his opinion, because it's one of the only solutions where we both win-- I won't become a potential "threat" to his business, I get to develop my own standing, and we can stay friends. And he's a good friend to have. For a lot of reasons.

Ultimately, I feel this is the best course for me. Should I decide to stay with the (old) company, I don't think I would be happy in the long run. I would always be wondering "what if." I told this to my GM. I also expressed that this is the first decision I get to make on my own merits, and not "influenced" by anyone else.

That is what I believe is the most empowering point to all of this. I don't need to fix something I think is broken. I'm moving on. Just like with PG. And B. And a lot of other things in my life I cannot do anything about.

And it's through this decision that I'm also setting the tone for the rest of my life. I gave each and every one of those parts my all. I gave my heart (and sometimes) soul to those elements in my life. They didn't work out-- great. Okay. Let's try something else. Let's stop worrying about the past. And let's move on to what could be my future.

It's with that I realize that I will come back to these unresolved matters in the future. With B, I will find a way to fix things. PG can fuck off. I gave her more than a few chances, and it seems like she's taking things the wrong way.

Anyway, all in all, tomorrow will be a great day. It's a new beginning. And I feel ready to take on the storm that life will bring.

I can ride it out now.