Some Things I Learned This Weekend (In Florida)

1.) Never travel 100 miles to go on a blind date if you don't have reliable transportation (like a rental car.) A Greyhound is NOT an acceptable form of transportation. And rental cars are expensive for deposits. Just don't go.

2.) Never show up to the bus station less than 1 hour of your scheduled bus ride. You'll get bumped to the next schedule. And end up spending 6 hours frustrated.

3.) If your date arrives dressed more casually(read: flip-flops, jeans, and a baseball cap) than you are, you will not be having sex. This is the message she is sending you.

4.) Have a solid plan to get back to your point of origin. Don't "wing it," or "see how it goes." You will be shelling out for a hotel room. Alone.

5.) No matter how cool the chick is or turns out to be, assume that this meeting will be a one-off; she won't be calling you when she comes to your town. Just accept it.

6.) Even though she will say that she's a "private" person, someone you know will find out that you met them recently. Don't be surprised if they ask about your so-called "date."

7.) Be wary of body language. Most girls today aren't appreciative of modern-day chivalry (i.e.: offering jackets, opening doors, paying for dinner, etc.) They will only see your actions like the way Chris Rock pointed them out. ("May I get that for you-- May I get you some dick?") Your seemingly harmless chivalry will only be interpreted this way, albeit being somewhat true.

8.) Agree to go dutch. That way you won't feel like a tool when you end up shelling out for dinner, just because you're a "nice guy." This will also lessen the blow when you get the "hug" at the end of said date.

9.) You're better off trying to date someone closer to home. At least the cab rides aren't that bad.

Ugh. Learning experiences, huh?