She Wants Me

She came on to me.

Last night, I invited The Boss to grab a drink with me and our friend from work. She had plans that fell through, so I thought she would like to join us for a bit.

I kept bringing her wine, with no pretenses (okay, maybe a little.) We talked about work, who's fucking who at work, and other things about work.

Then it happened.

I went to grab her another drink, and she said, "I love you more than I should." Later, in between one of the rounds, I leaned over and she kissed me. Then it happened again. It was *soooo* good. Later, I was sharing more about me vs. women, and how hard it is to date in New York. She started, "But you're so... sexual...," while she put her hand on my thigh. Yes! She definitely wants me.

It was innocent enough. We held hands, kissed a little bit more, then I put her in a cab. I wanted to go home with her. It was probably my chance to. And she was giving me all the signals-- especially suggesting that I was "doing something" to her, by her body language. But it was not a good idea. And it was enough that her feelings for me came out.

I called to make sure she was home. Then I went to another bar before going home.

In the morning, she called. It took a little bit to get it out of her, but she was worried that our friend from work saw something-- which he didn't because he went home before anything happened. It was the Damage Control Conversation. She asked if she was a jerk last night. Did she make out with me? Did she say anything inappropriate? She apologized profusely.

Then she told me about a guy she's been seeing for the last two years, someone she's "ga-ga" over. It was the usual-- "He's an asshole, but I LOVE him, and if work found out, then he would find out..." I could tell that she was hiding something, something more about her feelings for me. I didn't want to give up my feelings for her because, well, then it would get weird, and weird is something I don't need.

But last night was what I hope to be the start of something really, really good. And secret.