Hypocritical Monkeys, And The Girls Who (Sort-Of) Flirt With Them

Today, while I was on the way home a girl caught my eye. She was mouthing the words to her ipod, singing silently. I kept thinking about how silly she was for the moment, until I realized that I, too, was also singing a silent song while listening to my music.

I had to laugh for a minute, because I caught myself being a hypocrite. Heh. Stoopid Monkey.

I've been having little self-realization moments like this lately. I find I get critical of others and forget that I'm being a turd for getting annoyed at something trivial.

It's like that saying goes, "What you don't like about others is usually what you don't like about yourself." Or something like that.

So do we reflect on ourselves when observing other people? I had a banana while pondering this (like you do when pondering things) and I guess that it's true.

I'm trying to be a better person, but I keep finding things about myself that I want to change.

(...)

So Party Girl (formally New Girl,) asked me to join her again tonight for free food and drinks. I keep trying to figure out what it is I like about her. We always seem to run into each other, but I only notice it because I like her. She kind of flirts with me in a playful way, like the way you do when you're kids. Teasing, kicking each other's knees out, pretending not to notice each other.

Maybe she's just being nice. She keeps talking about her dates with boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, and boy toys, so I don't think she's intrested in me. I just think she likes the attention. I also notice she flirts with all the guys at work, so that's why I think it's the attention. But every once in a while I catch her looking at me while I'm pretending not to notice and it makes me feel funny. Good funny, though.

I definately know when a girl isn't looking at me in that way --it happens all the time. But I get that burning in my face when I know a girl is, and that's what throws me off. (I remember catching a look like that from B a few weeks ago. I looked right at her eyes in that moment, and I got a flash of something that made me blush inside a little.)

Then she does the "invite-out-but-we'll-see" kind of thing. The kind of plan where there's a half-commitment. Which is why I don't think she's going to call tonight.

And she said she wasn't into games...

(...)