Why Does The Same Lesson Suck Learning Again?

The night started out innocently enough. I got to the party at 7 after going on a last-ditch effort by my sister to get her husband a gift (she calls me at 5pm just as I'm leaving,) all punctuated by, "Can you do me a favor? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaase!" In Christmas Eve rush hour traffic, no less. I missed the Cingular store by just a hair.

So, I drive upstate and get to the party. I walk in and there she was.

Talking to my sister is this cute blond girl with a tan. Braces. Big, doe eyes. Just adorable. She is introduced to me and I shoot a look at my sister. Is this her idea of a setup?, I thought. It's just too easy. Cute girl. Me. Every one else is married. Hmmmm. Now my sister has tried to set me up before, but mostly through comments like, "You should go out with So-and-So. You'd have beautiful babies." No, this was a pretty monumental effort. And I'm thinking, How in the fuck did she lure a cute babe out here?

The night moves on. She's from Florida. A waitress. They met dining out at her restaurant where she works. Had a good time. Invited her to come up for the Holidays. So far, so good. I'm thinking to myself, She couldn't have just said, "You should meet my brother. You'd make cute babies," Did she?

The two of us continue talking. It's pretty obvious the champagne is setting in because her moves are getting closer to me. We go outside for a cigarette. She's never seen snow before, which I think is just cute, being that I'm from Alaska. I make her a snowball with the little patch of snow from the lawn. We throw a few snowballs at the tree. We're just two kids having fun, talking away. I was thankful to my sister for setting me up. She set the trap and I went for it. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Then it happened.

Somewhere between the champagne, oysters, cigarettes and snowballs came the words, "My boyfriend and I..." Whoa. Hold up. Back up a second.

At first I wondered why he wasn't here with her. Maybe she came alone to NY. Well, something could still happen, I guess. Maybe if he wasn't...

"...visiting his folks Upstate. And oh, you should see the ring he got me today..."

The rest of the night was tainted with more wine. There was still a lot of light flirting going on. We were having a great time. Maybe the boyfriend thing doesn't matter, I thought. She got really drunk, then passed out on the couch. We finished dessert then headed back to the City. I drove her to her hotel. We walked around for a bit unable to find a bar, so we headed back to her room. Everything was going pretty smooth. I was gonna get lucky. Whoo-hoo! There is a God up there. She looked at me and started to ask a question.

Uh-oh, I thought, here it comes.

"Can I use your phone?"

The night droned on for another hour, her calling him, them fighting about her being in the City with a strange guy, and whether or not their relationship was still worth it. I could tell this was going nowhere. Here I was, sitting in this girl's hotel room while she's lying to her boyfriend, about to cheat on him. With me.

After about an hour of this I couldn't take any more. What the fuck was I doing, anyway? I got my things, kissed her goodnight (while she was lying in bed half-asleep on the phone with him,) and snuck out the door so as not to make a sound.

I got in my car and headed home, cursing at myself the whole way for being so stupid. When I got home, I lit a final cigarette and felt better that I didn't go through with the whole thing. No harm, no foul. I was gonna do something wrong, but it didn't work out. I think I felt shitty because I didn't walk away from it until the last minute, and that was only because they were still on the phone together. Fuck. Saved by default. By a technicality. Not by choice.

My best friend thinks differently. He says that it was a choice and I should be grateful. Well, maybe he's right.

The best thing for me at this point is just to get up, get dressed, and go play with the family today. Let. It. Go. Lesson learned.

Again.

For the seven-hundred-and-nineteenth time.