Smoking And Ikea Day

I wanna cigarette! I can't believe that I've strayed so far from trying to cut down, let alone quit. I was doing so well about 3 weeks ago. Down to a smoke a day. Now I'm back up to old habits. I finished a pack in two days, the most I've smoked in almost 18 months.

I don't know what parts of my life are prompting the spike in tobacco use, but I'd like to find out. Somehow, the anti-smoking campaigns aren't working for me. Not even the gross-out things I've seen or read about.

I was doing so well, too.

(...)

Today was Ikea Day. With the girl from work (haven't yet thought of a name for her on this blog.) We were supposed to do something last week, but she had to cancel. The pessimist in me was pretty sure she was gonna cancel today but she shone through and we met up, despite the fact I was running late. I wouldn't call our adventure today a date, rather than two-friends-from-work-meeting-up. I've realized part of my problem with women is that I get ahead of myself rather quickly.

[Sidebar: Naturally, when you're with a girl (at least I for me,) you start thinking about what she's like in bed. You imagine what they're like, naked, and all the screaming and hair-pulling that ensues. Now that's the normal part for me. The part I get myself into trouble is where I start reading into all the little gestures and meanings of our time together. Then I would start developing feelings and then we're in a situation like PG's all over again.

Well I decided not to do it this time. I allowed myself the kinky fantasies because I can't help myself. I'm a guy. But I did talk myself out of getting ahead of the game. We're not really even friends yet. Just two people getting to know each other.]

So back to the day. We wandered Ikea for a few hours and I picked out the little things I needed to get my new apartment up to par. A rug here. A colander there. Some drapes. She picked out a few things too while I got to know her a bit better. Found out that we have a few things in common like not going to college and keeping our relationships short and sweet. Well, short anyway.

After a few laughs, some $1 munchies at the refreshments counter, a long line, and about $78 later (love that Ikea,) we piled back into my car and headed back to the city to the nearest Barnes & Noble. We picked out a few books we both needed. She mentioned something about wanting to audition for acting (she's a ballet dancer,) which kind of surprised me a little. Made me smile a bit. We got our books, left the store, and I dropped her off downtown so she could meet up with her brother before heading home over the Manhattan Bridge.

All said and done, we spent about 5 hours together, which was a good time. Now, considering it wasn't really a date, it was one of the best first dates I've been on in a while. We got on very naturally and comfortably. I asked her out to a theatre show I wanted to see sometimes soon. She said yes.

So things are good.

(...)

Saw a sermon this morning on TV. Couldn't help but think that the guy reminded me of Matthew McC... um... that actor in Failure to Launch. Texas charm and all.

What got to me was the part about how God sometimes says "No," or "Not yet," to our prayers. The pastor went on saying that God is a gentleman, and if we really want something, he'll let us have it. But if we're not ready or if it's not for us, then things will definitely turn out sour.

It struck a chord with me because I think I've forgotten that. Sometimes I think I'm ready to have what I want. Maybe the stall in my love life is the fact that I'm not ready yet. Perhaps I should think about things and remember that they always end up working out for the best.

Just some closing thoughts before I have a smoke.