The Right Threads

I got some new clothes today and I feel like a million bucks!

It's funny how a few garments can make you feel, especially when they feel right. I always used to buy clothes that were okay, but not really anything that fit me the right way. Always a little too big somewhere.

Well that's different now. For the first time I can really say I actually have threads that look good.

It started me on looking about with what I already have and rethinking how I could use them better. I've been getting rid of a lot of things here and there and now I'm down to a few good basics.

Yay!

Okay... She called back

My friend called me back tonight. It was great to talk with an old familiar voice again. I don't know what I get so worked up about sometimes. I guess even though I sometimes do things without thinking them through all the way, I hope they will work out.

Maybe I just shouldn't think too deeply on it. I know I say that a lot but I'm trying to keep my attitude light lately. It's not easy.

Going Home

I just bought a plane ticket to Denver. I guess I could call it home because it was the last place I've been over the last 7 years. It's funny to think of one place as home since I've been constantly moving during the course of my life. I haven't been even in a single apartment for more than 2 years.

I just feel unsettled. Every time I get into a place I don't really put those little touches to make it more homey to me. I figure I'll be moving soon anyway. I guess you could put me up in a hotel and I'd be happy.

But I'm looking forward to the trip later this month. I don't feel so far away from my life back there. I still talk to quite a few friends now and again. Those little parts of my life seem closer now that I'm away. Funny, huh?

So I'll come in, visit a few friendly faces, go for a little side trip to Grand Lake, and come back. I don't miss Colorado that much, but there are a few little things that I do miss: Pho '79, La Boheme, Paris on The Platte, and the Denver Diner, to name a few. Places I used to spend a lot of time in, but so many memories from them...

One Call

I called an old friend from home today. She told me she was in LA now, instead of New York. That bummed me out a little; I was hoping to see her. I gave her my number and she said she'd call me after work.

But it made me think again about why I want to catch up with my past so much. I guess I think of her as kind of significant in my life in a way. But I want to see several people from years ago. I kind of left high school rather abruptly and cut all ties, charging ahead and not really looking back.

Now I'm older, and I want to check into life from the past and see how it's been. I know I've changed some over the years, but every time I run into someone from before I feel like I'm still that same confused teenager I used to be.

But instead of running from it I want to understand. I want to understand so I CAN move on. I feel like I'm ready to confront all those issues I wasn't ready to face back then.

Maybe too much time has passed... Maybe I'm too late.

Back to the old friend. If she does call back, maybe I can stay in touch and keep an old friend. But maybe it's time to let this friend go. Maybe I need to grow up and let the distance that has grown between us remain. I guess if she doesn't call me I can't blame her.