Picking Up The Pieces

My vacation is almost over and I haven't even gotten that much accomplished.

I did go to Florida for a wedding. A very fast, skin-of-our-teeth wedding, that came together just as the sun was setting. For me, it was a symbol of how determination can accomplish a lot of things, against all odds. And it wasn't out of character for the people getting hitched either-- they tend to operate like this all the time.

But other things haven't gone so well. Registering my car for New York has been a hassle-and-a-half. Stood in line for 2 hours at the DMV only to find out I was missing ONE piece of paper. That took me another 3 hours and 5 phone calls to finally get the right form sent, which will take another 5 business days. This means that my vacation will be over by the time I am ready to apply for my registration correctly.

That, and I won't be getting my driver's license for another 2-3 weeks.

That, and I found out that an error on my taxes will cost me $1400. That took about 4 phone calls to find out why.

And I haven't even started looking for work yet. I finally finished a resume today. I hope to put in at least 10 applications tomorrow. That will amount to a pretty busy day.

The only thing I really have to look forward to is camping with B this weekend. Perhaps I can get a few things off my mind.

There is the matter of the girl who cancelled on the date. Yup. It was a brush-off. I had been wracking my brain as to why she decided to cut things off with me. I guess I'm still taking things personally and I shouldn't. It might not have anything to do with me. But it still doesn't make me feel any better.

I decided to stop sulking because I realized that she wasn't exactly the best choice for me. And I also realized that I had been beating myself up for similar reasons in my personal life. I haven't always given myself the best chance possible. So why am I getting bent out of shape for nothing?

And it's because of this that I have a reason to start changing. I have to start playing fair when it comes to me. I think I might have better luck this way. It's not fair to beat yourself up, even a little bit, when you haven't given yourself a fair chance to try anything. And even then, it doesn't help to beat yourself up in the first place.

It's about picking up the pieces and not giving up. A thing that I always knew about but never really tried.

Until now.

It hasn't been all that bad, though. I guess life will continue throwing me curve-balls. I'll just have to learn to swing better, that's all.

A few things that went right this weekend:

1.) The fact that I showed up at all to my friend's wedding really made his day, despite all others not coming through.

2.) I met a cute waitress at a Ruby Tuesday's in Tampa. I didn't get her number on purpose, because I think it'll be better if I got it next time I'm down there. But I did pretty good flirting with her. She thought my name was "lovely." I'm such a dork.

3.) I did get my resume typed up pretty well. And fast. Not bad for not-having-to-need-one in almost 8 years.

So this week wasn't all bad. I just like to sulk sometimes.

But picking up the pieces isn't that bad, either.