Joining The Ranks Of The "Virtually" Single

I feel silly for admitting this. I finally signed up for an online dating site.

I did it for a lot of reasons. For one, I shouldn't be alone on a Saturday smoking cigarettes and watching movies. And seeing as that I don't have enough friends to go out and meet new people, I'm left with little opportunities. I've never been the kind of guy to randomly pick up girls in my travels. I'm not bold enough to go up to a random woman and say hello. Partly a fear of rejection, partly because I'm not comfortable with that. Introductions I can handle. But even then, it takes a lot for me to talk to people I've just met.

I didn't used to be this way. When I was a younger (and a bartender,) the process was easier. But it was kind of a lopsided way to meet girls. They're already lubed up from the drinks I just served them. My ventures into dating this way were never really fruitful anyway.

I even joined the speed dating trend for a few attempts. A little too rushed and too impersonal. I feel that you can't really learn enough about someone in five minutes. Sure, you'd be able to make up your mind if you want to fuck 'em or not, but not enough to consider a serious relationship. Yeah, that foray went sour, too.

So I thought I would join the millions of other hopeful singles and try my luck online. Why not? It's relatively the same thing, and there is a little bit of a safety net. But now comes the hard part. How do I describe myself? I've tried this before, but it's harder than it looks.

Hmmmm. I'll have to put a little more effort into this. A subscription will cost a nice chunk of change, but it might be worth it. Ugh. Mind you, I have my apprehension toward joining such a cliche of our generation. It doesn't have a great sense of appeal to be getting e-mail from SexyChic943. (I'm being judgmental for humor's sake.) But I'm also pretty serious about injecting some new blood into the holding pattern that is my love-life. I'd read a few books and advice columns about dating over the last few months. The most common piece of advice was to create more opportunities. Even if it means joining such a service.

Sometimes it's the things you try to fight the hardest against that you end up succumbing to.

I wonder what could happen. Could you really find your significant other based on a list of "compatible factors" that match two people up? I remember seeing an old episode of Love Connection the other day. A nice girl named Lisa paired up with some dude from Australia. She came complete with 80's hairdo and heavy red lipstick. Cute, though it was an episode from, like, 1989. Anyway. She scored a 44%, which was the highest of the three bachelorettes. Listening to her testimony, you just wanted her to win. And she did. It made me imagine the powers-that-be, pairing me up with potential matches. Which one will score the highest? Who will it be? It's kind of weird thinking that I'll have to hand over Cupid's job to a computer. But it seems as though lately Cupid's been getting pretty lazy. And, well, if it gets the job done...

Eh. It all depends on how I present myself. I'll have to put a little more thought into my profile. Besides, "Shy brooding Meximo seeks fun-loving city gal to share igloo with" kind of sounds funny. Not like me at all. I'm not brooding per se. And I don't own an igloo. But it was an attempt just to get the profile up and running.

I'll keep y'all posted.