Mad... For Now

This is what B said on the ride home tonight.

We went out for her boyfriend's birthday to a Rangers game. I called early this morning to make sure I was still going, since we made plans 2 months ago, then all the recent shit that went down. I figured I was out for tonight. When I asked if I was still going, she said yes, then, "Ask him."

So I met her at the game with our other friends. When we got to the section, kisses and hugs were handed out. "Nice to see you," I said, "Friend-Who-Is-Still-Mad-With-Me," while I leaned in for a greeting kiss. She smiled and said, "Hi."

The game was awesome. I've been to a few games before but nothing like this. The Rangers went into overtime, then a shootout. The crowd was amped. By the third period I found myself yelling and screaming like I was a ten-year die-hard fan.

We didn't talk the whole game, except for when I asked how she was getting home. I figured it my opportunity to talk with her about our sitch. She was driving, though I didn't ask if I could hitch a ride.

The game ended and we all walked out. By the time we got outside B had agreed to take me home. Good, I thought. This would be my chance to work things out.

Boy was I wrong. Our cab ride to her car was completely silent, save for the request from me to get cigarettes. The drive home was a little better. I felt a little tension because I was trying to find an opportunity to break the ice. I was starting and stopping inside, wanting the words "I'm sorry" to come out. Nothing came.

Finally, at a stoplight I said something. "Are you gonna stay mad with me." She replied, "For now."

Well that was okay. I mean, she was driving me home. How mad could she really be?

When we pulled up, I tried to think of a million things to say, something to try and open things up again. It was no use. B's the kind of person who completely cuts you off with silence. But I didn't feel that she was really angry. It seemed like she just wanted to hold on to her feelings for the moment. "Don't stay mad for long," I said as I thanked her for the ride. "Okay," she offered in the softest tone I'd heard from her in the last month.

We'll be fine, I thought as I walked away to my door. Just let it go for now.